Thursday, September 28, 2006

I hit a bunny...

and I laughed out loud to myself. I'd like to say that my responses to killing little furry and innocent animals are becoming concerning even to myself.

But this is a funny story so I must tell it.

I'm driving along on a dark and wet road when a bunny jumps right in front of my car. I think to myself he's small he'll squat and go right under my car and be unscathed. Then the bunny sees me and begins to panic. I think surely he will panic and move out of the way. Instead he jumps straight up into the air and flails his limbs all about. That's when I hit him, mid air, mid flail, right with my head light. And I just laughed. I laugh now even thinking about it, it is so ridiculous.

The ironic thing is that; I am this bunny. When I was little I hated the game of tag, I hated the game of dodgeball, and I hated those stupid camp mock war games. I hated the feeling of knowing I was caught and the panic of moment when you are about to be tagged/shot/tapped/tackled. I concluded the fastest way around this horror was to simply sit in one place unmoving/unplaying until I could be declared out.

At anyrate the bunny reminded me of that feeling of panic, when you could move out of the way, but instead you are so freaked out that you simply jump up, flail about and get smashed.

The other ironic thing is that today I was that bunny in a different way. I was in one of those surprise situations that reveals how you really feel, the real state of your heart. I jumped up in agitation, only to be smashed by the realization that I need to die/I'm not dead yet. Uggg. Oh, the awkward flailing of self realization, oh, the deafening thud of pride hitting a headlight.

I killed a bunny today, that bunny was me.

Maybe I should rename this blog; meditations on roadkill.