Smile!

I think it odd when random strangers (always male, never in my experience, female) command you to smile.

I know it’s happened to other people. I’ll be just standing waiting in line or looking at product to purchase when a random stranger or employee will come up to me and say, “Smile, life can’t be that bad.” or “Smile, life isn’t that rough.” I recently thought about this odd behavior when one particularly stressful and sad week in my life, this strange “smile command” happened to me multiple times.

I realized this happens to me quite a bit. I attribute it to two things.

I often stand in thought, and while thinking I generally look sad or pensive. I don’t know why…

I’m not a big smiler. My face, at rest, I guess, looks sad.

Still, I’m miffed at this “smile command”. I think it’s presumptuous to interrupt someone’s train of thought to request of them a happier facial expression. First off, maybe I am sad, maybe I am having a rough day. Second off, a “smile command” isn’t actually going to change my day; it might actually make me sadder when I realize how sad I must look to others. Thirdly, I think it ill-legitimizes my feelings. It is saying surely life can’t be as sad as you look, when in a fact it very well might be. Life is very complicated. Fourthly, I am not and will not be a window dressing in people’s Mary Poppins fairy tale life. I’m sorry my sad face affects people adversely but it is real and it is me.

And how am I to respond to such requests? I normally look up mildly horrified and offer a weak, placating smile accompanied with an eye roll.

Not today, today I reclaimed my facial expressions as my own, today I responded, with a firm, “Actually, you have no idea what my day has been like.”

Here’s my application: First, I am going to try to look happier. Most of the time I am pretty content and I would want my face to show it. Second, if I really am sad, I’m not going to smile when commanded. I won’t be mean, but I think I’ll just stare blankly back.


Note: this diatribe is not against those who are truly compassionate and empathetic towards others. I appreciate comments like “rough day, huh?” or “hope your day goes better.” Or “I’m having a rough time too.” I am speaking strictly about odd instances with total strangers in which they command me to smile for them.