Real Ways to Beat the Plague

A few days a go I wrote about my vitamin euphoria, it didn't work. So I went to a real doctor. Before I tell you that, I should fill in some details.

Growing up I was sick a lot. Who knows why? I just remember taking antibiotics constantly. In fact my family should be on a poster for why over medicating could cause a super virus.

My mother already had us diagnosed before we hit the reception area. She would inspect our throats with my father's mag light. We would roll our eyes and one again remind her that she didn't have a medical degree. It didn't get better as we got older. She became more insistent. She would tell the doctor before he unsheathed his stethoscope what we had and what he should prescribe, how many days and how many milligrams included. She would also ask that he check that little refill box.

"Ceftin, ten days, five hundred milligrams, don't forget the refill, just in case"

"Levaquin, seven days, five hundred milligrams, remember the refill box, just in case"

"Augmenten? Absolutely not, that gives Kristen stomach aches and she has to eat, which she refuses to do, Ceftin is what we normally get."

"Baxin? Under no circumstances, she gets a metallic taste in her mouth and it isn't that effective. How about Levaquin?"

I, now, must skip past the mansy pansy stuff and right to ceftin. I have become immune to everything else.

Sometimes she wouldn't even take us she'd simply call in to the doctor and insist a prescription without an actual visit.

My mother is a pediatrician's nightmare, or well she's a medical community nightmare.

All that to say I became so miserable and was developing intense pain in my ear. I hustled off to a good Jewish doctor at Menorah Medical center. I am now fully medicated, but still feel like I'm in an airplane making it's final approach to the landing. And don't ask me to reach for anything on the ground; the change in "altitude" makes me scream like a crazy person.