Baby Boys

Clyde is on the left and Buck is on the right

This is why I dislike dogs

Check out Char and Jesse's Blog

Trifecta of Cuteness (minus one not so cute thing)

My parents bought two beautiful Siamese kittens last Saturday. They are soooo cute. The cat pictured above isn't one of them, but they look just like him. These two new additions join my parents cat Bonnie (a 4 year old tabby they rescued). Bonnie is a mean cat. She hates people and being touched/held/played with.

When my parents go out of town, I'll go over to the house to feed Bonnie and she hisses at me the whole time, literally from the moment I open the door she'll stand up on two feet to be pet once, but any attempt to pet after that first pet; she hisses. I lay down her food bowl and she hisses at me before taking the first bite.

So now Bonnie has two kittens to hiss at, which actually seems to make her hatred of me more intense. Now she just looks at me and hisses, no contact necessary. I'm sure she thinks I'm behind the kitten plot.

The new kittens names are Clyde and Buck, which makes the three of them historically accurate gangsters.

I (heart) British Hamsters

I would just like to say a big thank you to the British Hamster colonies who saved my butt today.

Normally it's the hamsters who fall off their little wheels and trip up the other little hamsters and make my life miserable. But last week I tripped and landed on their hamster cage and managed to obliterate a little hamster civilization and make the lives of many people miserable (including hamster master and trainer; Sir Steve).

So here's to all the little hamster lives I've threatened. In my greatest hour of need they reboarded their little wheels and chugged on.

God bless them, everyone.

Ode to the Pork Baby

To the only friend who loved trivial pursuit as much as I did, to the one of the few who loved Arrested Development, to the only guy who could wear a mullet wig with a high sense of fashion, to a guy who loved listening to Counting Crows greatest hits and remembering where we where when each song came out, to a guy who loved true American muscle cars, to a guy who loved Jesus well and pointed all those around him to a Healer, to a guy who was confident in God's love, to a guy who was the first baby born in October hence "the Pork Baby of Kansas".

Love you Luke, give the Man a high five for me. We'll see you soon.

uggg

yep, that's all, uggg, that's as articulate as I can be, uggggg.

Didn't Leave a Mark

Today I can happily say I have no bruises on my face. I'm thinking this is some type of miracle.

Yesterday I was setting up for conference in the back office area dusting some bookshelves and a 8 foot 3inch wide aluminum pipe rolled off the top of the bookshelf and hit me in the face, right on the bridge of my nose. I heard one of my employees say "ooooo that didn't sound good."

Andrew saw it happen and immediately came to me and started to pray in tongues. Hartke got me Kleenex just in time as my nose began a lovely gush of blood. This is not, I'm sorry to say, the first time these two boys have seen me cry. I'm sure they still remember the disaster at inventory, which started more like laughter and then turned to sobbing. Very scary, especially for guys.

I'd also like to say that this is not the first time I've been hit in the face at the bookstore. Once when I was cashier and stooped down to get something, when I stood up I smashed my temple into the corner of the cash drawer. Saw stars, but had to act like nothing had happened for the customer's sake. I cried later in the bathroom.

Once while helping a customer, a DVD somehow flew out of his hand and hit me smack in the middle of my face. I was already pretty frustrated with the situation, and being hit in the face definitely kicked it up a level, in fact I actually just walked away from the customer to compose myself, all the while Kirk was snickering behind the counter thinking I'm sure, "Kristen is gonna kill this guy."

All that to say, my face is a little sore this morning, I'm just glad I don't have two black eyes. That could have made the women's conference a little more awkward for everyone.

I would also like to just point out for the record, that Pipe and Drape has been the bane of my bookstore existence for the last two years. There is always something annoying happening with it or to it. Finally, the pipes, being so against me have decided to launch a physical assault against my face.

Here's to the conference, may it be more enjoyable then a pipe hitting you in the face.

It's the Little Things

I'm coming to realize how much the little things in my life keep me sane. I shall list these little things so some level of sanity might be found by those who seek it.

1)Sunroof - driving down farm roads in the middle of the night with your sunroof open, looking up to see brightly lit sky - amazing

2)Wake Up calls - every morning my siamese cat (or beast) crawls onto my bed, stalks my face and shoves his nose against mine, while purring like a freight train. He falls asleep with his head under my chin

3)Vitamin B Complex - keeps my nerves connected

4)Vanilla Almond Tea a Lait - knowing that as I open the coffee shop door and nod to the barrista my drink is being made

5)A good pair of jeans

6)my iPod - playing the following lately: Continuum, John Mayer; Stand Still Look Pretty, The Wreakers; Everything in Transit, Jack's Mannaquin; Eyes Open, Snow Patrol; Inside the Sounds of Breaking Down, John Mark McMillan...

7)Mucinex D - the wonder drug

8)My assistant - she bought me flowers this week, oh how I love her

9)My ESV wide margin Bible - making reading so much more interactive

10)Vitamin Water - yum

I hit a bunny...

and I laughed out loud to myself. I'd like to say that my responses to killing little furry and innocent animals are becoming concerning even to myself.

But this is a funny story so I must tell it.

I'm driving along on a dark and wet road when a bunny jumps right in front of my car. I think to myself he's small he'll squat and go right under my car and be unscathed. Then the bunny sees me and begins to panic. I think surely he will panic and move out of the way. Instead he jumps straight up into the air and flails his limbs all about. That's when I hit him, mid air, mid flail, right with my head light. And I just laughed. I laugh now even thinking about it, it is so ridiculous.

The ironic thing is that; I am this bunny. When I was little I hated the game of tag, I hated the game of dodgeball, and I hated those stupid camp mock war games. I hated the feeling of knowing I was caught and the panic of moment when you are about to be tagged/shot/tapped/tackled. I concluded the fastest way around this horror was to simply sit in one place unmoving/unplaying until I could be declared out.

At anyrate the bunny reminded me of that feeling of panic, when you could move out of the way, but instead you are so freaked out that you simply jump up, flail about and get smashed.

The other ironic thing is that today I was that bunny in a different way. I was in one of those surprise situations that reveals how you really feel, the real state of your heart. I jumped up in agitation, only to be smashed by the realization that I need to die/I'm not dead yet. Uggg. Oh, the awkward flailing of self realization, oh, the deafening thud of pride hitting a headlight.

I killed a bunny today, that bunny was me.

Maybe I should rename this blog; meditations on roadkill.

Quote of the Week

"I'd like to give him a spicy Jesus roll."

Stephen Baldwin about trying to evangelise Tom Cruise over a sushi lunch.

Wow.

Women with tools

It's the Sunday after conference, that should indicate a need for rest and relaxation, well it does indicate that, I just didn't fulfill that need. Instead I hoped over to my parents house to see how the home improvement projects are going.

It should be said that for most people this house would be move in ready. Not my parents, they are particular. I was talking to Mark about it on the phone and we both laughed and joked that they should have just called in a wreaking ball and started from scratch. My parents are very particular. They like the hardwood floors and certain types of tiles, and faucets and appliances and drains, and shower heads, and porches and well, houses.

So first home improvement project is removing laminate floors and installing hardwood floors, all by ourselves. Yum. Upon arriving and seeing the pace at which we were progressing, I felt the need to jump in. I announced I could saw. My father looked at me with high eyebrows, but humored me. So I became compound miter saw Kristen. I was fabulous. I had my own safety glasses and everything. As things progressed I measured and sawed. My mother picked out and quality checked each board, and my father hammered them in with an "oversized stapler" and sledge hammer.

My father took us out for steak and key lime pie as thanks for our help.

We got about half way done, and dear old Dad will have to sand them, stain them, and seal them. My parents are crazy and they are getting too old for this back breaking labor.

I plan on steering clear of the house the next few days, or my Dad might hand me the floor sander, and all of our hard work would be for naught.

7 Years and counting...

IHOP is working on their 7 year anniversary (and a feast to end all feasts). I'm really excited to be here during this time. There is a certain amount of joy I feel about being involved with this place. It's home to me.

I was talking today to some of my staff, a lot of them are new because we've transitioned a lot of people in the last year, and I really felt at home with them, I enjoy them and I enjoy getting to know them. When I first started this job I hired and worked with people I already knew, I can't really do that anymore, so it's given me the opportunity to stretch out and get to know a lot more people.

So here's to all the people who help me keep going, who bless this base in more ways then will ever be known: Alicia, Stacey, Matt H, Dale, Char, Jesse, Matthias, Katie, Amanda, Rachel, Robert, Linda, Mandy, Vernon (and team), John, Becca, Vicki, Lauren.

You guys are all in my heart and I thank God when I see and remember you.

Derek Webb's New Album is Free!!

This is a great album and it's free. In a world where you pay for everything, some good things really are free.

Check it out

I hit another possum...

This time I didn't turn around, I just gunned it and smiled. Clearly it had been one of those days.

But it did remind me of the scariest roadkill experience ever.

I was riding in the car with Katie on Blue River Road coming back from Walmart. We were talking and all of a sudden we hit a possum. She freaked out and I told here it was probably just a log or something. But nooooo... she had to turn around to make sure it was dead and to kill it if it wasn't. I begged her not to, but around we turned.

We found him and turned around again so we had him right in our headlights. He was lying there with his eyes wideopen sort of wafting in wind. I kept blinking and staring and I finally declared, "yeah, he's dead." Then all of a sudden the upper half of his body began to lift off the pavement. I screamed so loud I was sure that the glass was going to shatter. He was like a zombie, I turned away at this point still screaming, "CHUCKIE!!"

Katie says he lifted up his front paws and began to drag himself off the road. I couldn't look, all I could do was scream, sure that he would attach himself to our car and haunt us for all of our days.

He didn't and I eventually overcame the trauma of that night, and I've maimed another creature this week, I didn't turn around to check the status. I gunned it and just kept moving.

I'm becoming desensitized to violence, maybe I've been watching to much ER.

Shopping on Amazon right now, and as I searched for a new book it suggested a book I read when I was in high school. It suggested a book called, "What a about those who have never heard?" It was a book about what happened to those who have never heard the gospel preached before they died... hell?

It was question that was haunting me at the time, due to a very moving and excruciating evangelism experience I had just had. This one evangelism experience has in many ways turned me away from street evangelism altogether

I was maybe in 10th grade, and as a youth group we had to go out to this place where young people gathered and share the gospel with strangers, I had an odd zeal and boldness at the time and was quite smart. I went in feeling scared but somewhat confident I could accurately articulate my thoughts.

I was totally unprepared. This "hang out" was a place where college age kids hung out and did wicca or drugs or philosophized about who knows what... It was in this place we were to try to share the gospel... cold turkey.

These kids were smart and brutal and angry. I got pounded over and over. They made me tell them that they were going to hell over and over. Probably just to make me uncomfortable. But in truth most of them were quite content with this reality.

One guy in particular took the time to really talk to me, he seemed concerned that I so blindly followed such foolishness. He asked me a lot of questions he knew I couldn't answer and he admitted I was at quite an unfair advantage and he appreciated my willingness to come out and be "slaughtered".

He asked me what happened to those who never heard the gospel. I had no answer except that God was just and sovereign and he would judge righteously. Not good enough. Now I would say that it's a moot point. There is no one who "has never heard".

It's funny that I would come across this tonight, because I've thought twice about this guy this week, and I haven't thought about him in years. I was driving somewhere and just randomly I began to think and pray for him. I wonder what God has and is doing in his life.

I do know that this conversation turned me inside out. I spent the next year questioning everything, not because this guys arguments were very compelling, they weren't. But he challenged me to really think about what I believed and why. Thankfully I had a fabulous theology teacher and she never questioned my need to question. She just kept handing me rigorous materials, and she let me struggle.

Ultimately I came to believe in the God of my fathers', but it was my own. I'm struggling right now not with foundational doctrine but with the finer points. It makes me think that God has his hand on this foundational search and this deeper search, he is guiding me through a series of events to go deeper.

Do I trust his prompting? Do I trust that he will lead both my head and my heart? I would say yes. I would say that he is good. But even as I say that my thoughts hesitate, I'm stuttering in my spirit. The hesitation is two fold.

1) Will he really guide my theology? Is that realistic?
-lots of people ask for this and yet arrive at different conclusions
2) Will he really guide my heart?
-where has he been this last year and half?

And that's me being really honest. I trust him, but today it's because I know it's right.

God, you are true and righteous. Lead me in a way that is higher than myself. Help me find a sure path. Quiet my noisy heart with your love.

[end dear diary moment]

Conference Fun

Pirate Fun - David Scoggan

This picture, drawn in MS Paint, depicts the level of fun we are having at the conference this year. May I add that the talent I have on staff is inestimable. They never cease to amaze me.

The Winch Who Stole My Catholic Encyclopedias

This has been an odd and bizarre week. But finally someone has come and collected the most bizarre item we have received in bookstore history. I say this with confidence.

Here lies the story.

Yesterday we received like 30 boxes of books. The day before that we received roughly the same amount. We have been drowning in books. Really really drowning. Yesterday as Victor's bringing the last box he says with a curious look, "This box has a chain in it." Hmmm we look at him, but don't think much of it being as we are drowning in work.

A few hours later we are receiving catholic encyclopedias for a FSM order, when we open up box 2 of 2 we find, instead of catholic encyclopedias, this piece of equipment.



Hmmmm you say? Yeah I know. There were included in the box two large hydraulic shafts, two chains, and a steel hook. Early on in this discovery I declared this equipment to be a jackhammer. Upon further investigation, it is a hydraulic industrial winch. For several hours we all called it a wench, which is not the same thing, nor is it a hydraulic wrench or witch. It's a winch.

Even more interesting is that the packing slip for my encyclopedias is inside the box with the winch. Hmmmmmm.

The catholic publisher was just as confused as we were and so the winch became IHOP property and a cheery British man just carried it away.

Oddest thing we have ever received, and now that it's gone I kind of miss it. It would have made a nice bookstore pet.

Last Two Weeks in Review

Get back from Denver.

Clean the house.

Monday 17th
Step through bookstore door, simultaneously wished I had stayed home
Day explodes, get almost nothing done
Go Home and sleep

Tuesday 18thBetter day, not by much
Nearly die in heat

Wednesday 19th
Reading and studying Zechariah 14, blown away
Create pie graphs for marketing meeting

Thursday 20th
Spend all day battling with computer
Creatively name all files after Native American Tragedies
Luck with computers directly tied with names, bad idea
Miss meeting (initiated by myself) with other very busy department head
Nearly scalp myself

Friday 21st
Can't get my head out of Zechariah 14
Mathias gives in office history lesson on North Korea

Saturday 22nd
Throw party for Char and Jesse's Wedding
Leave party and see Lady in the Water (blah is how I feel about it)

Sunday 23rd
Bickle preaches out of Zechariah 14
Someone hands me $50
Unload parents moving "van" aka semi
Trick friends into helping
Fill my entire two car garage with their stuff
Many boxes labeled "Kristen's Books"
Other boxes labeled "71 Mustang Steering" "69 Mustang heater" "71 Mustang linkage"
Take my parents to Steak and Shake

Monday the 24th
Marketing Meeting, no one is excited by pie graphs
Saw Scanner Darkly, way better then Lady in the Water, but had some issues

Tuesday the 25th
Wake up with killer headache
Take Gummi Vitamins
Take Advil
Run a bunch or errands
Drank sweet tea
Met with busy department head, she's so cool
Began reading Ezekiel 38 and 39

The Grand and Infamous Jordan

Hey All. I'm in Denver this week at the International Christian Retailing Convention. Katie, Dale and I are here till Thursday. Katie and I are pictured with one of our favorite vendors, Jordan. Really great guy, him and the guys at IPG are winning some huge brownie points.

It should be said that most often people ignore us, we look like children of bookstore managers. Today we were told we didn't look old enough to be managing, and it's true, the IHOP youth movement has infiltrated all aspects of the mission base. We are quite the buying duo... out of control is probably more accurate. We've had quite a few people laughing so hard they had to stop what they were doing.

I'll just give you a few of the highlights.

-Dale going up to two random guys asking for directions. Turns out they were Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins. They let her know.

-Dale telling us the story and Katie asking, "Who are they?"

-Katie spilling bath salts all over Jordan's desk

-Katie reaching to get something out of her eye, and Jordan saying, "uugggg, looks like we have an eyeball toucher."

-Jordan then regaling us with a story about a marrage counseler who made her couples lick each other's eyeballs

- Me dramatically emphasizing how gross I thought that was (with wild hand movement)

- Katie (at my request) getting the Joel Osteen board game off the display and both of us making fun of it - one of the playing cards said "Choose to be happy."


- At one vendor we just grabbed all the books we liked from their displays and popped them down at the desk and said, "this is what we want."

-We've had pictures taken with circus performers, Indian chief, and a huge Goliath

- People have tried to sell us dolls, puppets, tracts, toys, barbies, scripture candy

So it's quite the event, I'm sure I'll have more stories later.

Road Trip America

Spent the weekend in Florida. Fabulous fun. Beach, sun, shopping, and a friend's wedding. Could it get any better?

I love the ocean, I love sinking my feet in and feeling the salty water wash over them. I love walking and clearing my mind with the sun beating down on me. One night we all went out to the beach late at night, and the ocean looked amazing, but even more amazing was the sky. It was perfectly clear and the sky stretched and fell into the sea. I could see every star and it was breath taking.

On the way back we took a different route, this route looked faster and also went by New Orleans, which I have always wanted to visit. So we took a brief break and had dinner in the French Quarter here.

It was an amazing city, really beautiful. And the food was awesome. I'll post some pictures later this week, I have to get all the film developed.

One good thing about being home: no sand in my sheets or bathtub.