It's the Little Things

I'm coming to realize how much the little things in my life keep me sane. I shall list these little things so some level of sanity might be found by those who seek it.

1)Sunroof - driving down farm roads in the middle of the night with your sunroof open, looking up to see brightly lit sky - amazing

2)Wake Up calls - every morning my siamese cat (or beast) crawls onto my bed, stalks my face and shoves his nose against mine, while purring like a freight train. He falls asleep with his head under my chin

3)Vitamin B Complex - keeps my nerves connected

4)Vanilla Almond Tea a Lait - knowing that as I open the coffee shop door and nod to the barrista my drink is being made

5)A good pair of jeans

6)my iPod - playing the following lately: Continuum, John Mayer; Stand Still Look Pretty, The Wreakers; Everything in Transit, Jack's Mannaquin; Eyes Open, Snow Patrol; Inside the Sounds of Breaking Down, John Mark McMillan...

7)Mucinex D - the wonder drug

8)My assistant - she bought me flowers this week, oh how I love her

9)My ESV wide margin Bible - making reading so much more interactive

10)Vitamin Water - yum

I hit a bunny...

and I laughed out loud to myself. I'd like to say that my responses to killing little furry and innocent animals are becoming concerning even to myself.

But this is a funny story so I must tell it.

I'm driving along on a dark and wet road when a bunny jumps right in front of my car. I think to myself he's small he'll squat and go right under my car and be unscathed. Then the bunny sees me and begins to panic. I think surely he will panic and move out of the way. Instead he jumps straight up into the air and flails his limbs all about. That's when I hit him, mid air, mid flail, right with my head light. And I just laughed. I laugh now even thinking about it, it is so ridiculous.

The ironic thing is that; I am this bunny. When I was little I hated the game of tag, I hated the game of dodgeball, and I hated those stupid camp mock war games. I hated the feeling of knowing I was caught and the panic of moment when you are about to be tagged/shot/tapped/tackled. I concluded the fastest way around this horror was to simply sit in one place unmoving/unplaying until I could be declared out.

At anyrate the bunny reminded me of that feeling of panic, when you could move out of the way, but instead you are so freaked out that you simply jump up, flail about and get smashed.

The other ironic thing is that today I was that bunny in a different way. I was in one of those surprise situations that reveals how you really feel, the real state of your heart. I jumped up in agitation, only to be smashed by the realization that I need to die/I'm not dead yet. Uggg. Oh, the awkward flailing of self realization, oh, the deafening thud of pride hitting a headlight.

I killed a bunny today, that bunny was me.

Maybe I should rename this blog; meditations on roadkill.

Quote of the Week

"I'd like to give him a spicy Jesus roll."

Stephen Baldwin about trying to evangelise Tom Cruise over a sushi lunch.

Wow.

Women with tools

It's the Sunday after conference, that should indicate a need for rest and relaxation, well it does indicate that, I just didn't fulfill that need. Instead I hoped over to my parents house to see how the home improvement projects are going.

It should be said that for most people this house would be move in ready. Not my parents, they are particular. I was talking to Mark about it on the phone and we both laughed and joked that they should have just called in a wreaking ball and started from scratch. My parents are very particular. They like the hardwood floors and certain types of tiles, and faucets and appliances and drains, and shower heads, and porches and well, houses.

So first home improvement project is removing laminate floors and installing hardwood floors, all by ourselves. Yum. Upon arriving and seeing the pace at which we were progressing, I felt the need to jump in. I announced I could saw. My father looked at me with high eyebrows, but humored me. So I became compound miter saw Kristen. I was fabulous. I had my own safety glasses and everything. As things progressed I measured and sawed. My mother picked out and quality checked each board, and my father hammered them in with an "oversized stapler" and sledge hammer.

My father took us out for steak and key lime pie as thanks for our help.

We got about half way done, and dear old Dad will have to sand them, stain them, and seal them. My parents are crazy and they are getting too old for this back breaking labor.

I plan on steering clear of the house the next few days, or my Dad might hand me the floor sander, and all of our hard work would be for naught.

7 Years and counting...

IHOP is working on their 7 year anniversary (and a feast to end all feasts). I'm really excited to be here during this time. There is a certain amount of joy I feel about being involved with this place. It's home to me.

I was talking today to some of my staff, a lot of them are new because we've transitioned a lot of people in the last year, and I really felt at home with them, I enjoy them and I enjoy getting to know them. When I first started this job I hired and worked with people I already knew, I can't really do that anymore, so it's given me the opportunity to stretch out and get to know a lot more people.

So here's to all the people who help me keep going, who bless this base in more ways then will ever be known: Alicia, Stacey, Matt H, Dale, Char, Jesse, Matthias, Katie, Amanda, Rachel, Robert, Linda, Mandy, Vernon (and team), John, Becca, Vicki, Lauren.

You guys are all in my heart and I thank God when I see and remember you.

Derek Webb's New Album is Free!!

This is a great album and it's free. In a world where you pay for everything, some good things really are free.

Check it out

I hit another possum...

This time I didn't turn around, I just gunned it and smiled. Clearly it had been one of those days.

But it did remind me of the scariest roadkill experience ever.

I was riding in the car with Katie on Blue River Road coming back from Walmart. We were talking and all of a sudden we hit a possum. She freaked out and I told here it was probably just a log or something. But nooooo... she had to turn around to make sure it was dead and to kill it if it wasn't. I begged her not to, but around we turned.

We found him and turned around again so we had him right in our headlights. He was lying there with his eyes wideopen sort of wafting in wind. I kept blinking and staring and I finally declared, "yeah, he's dead." Then all of a sudden the upper half of his body began to lift off the pavement. I screamed so loud I was sure that the glass was going to shatter. He was like a zombie, I turned away at this point still screaming, "CHUCKIE!!"

Katie says he lifted up his front paws and began to drag himself off the road. I couldn't look, all I could do was scream, sure that he would attach himself to our car and haunt us for all of our days.

He didn't and I eventually overcame the trauma of that night, and I've maimed another creature this week, I didn't turn around to check the status. I gunned it and just kept moving.

I'm becoming desensitized to violence, maybe I've been watching to much ER.

Shopping on Amazon right now, and as I searched for a new book it suggested a book I read when I was in high school. It suggested a book called, "What a about those who have never heard?" It was a book about what happened to those who have never heard the gospel preached before they died... hell?

It was question that was haunting me at the time, due to a very moving and excruciating evangelism experience I had just had. This one evangelism experience has in many ways turned me away from street evangelism altogether

I was maybe in 10th grade, and as a youth group we had to go out to this place where young people gathered and share the gospel with strangers, I had an odd zeal and boldness at the time and was quite smart. I went in feeling scared but somewhat confident I could accurately articulate my thoughts.

I was totally unprepared. This "hang out" was a place where college age kids hung out and did wicca or drugs or philosophized about who knows what... It was in this place we were to try to share the gospel... cold turkey.

These kids were smart and brutal and angry. I got pounded over and over. They made me tell them that they were going to hell over and over. Probably just to make me uncomfortable. But in truth most of them were quite content with this reality.

One guy in particular took the time to really talk to me, he seemed concerned that I so blindly followed such foolishness. He asked me a lot of questions he knew I couldn't answer and he admitted I was at quite an unfair advantage and he appreciated my willingness to come out and be "slaughtered".

He asked me what happened to those who never heard the gospel. I had no answer except that God was just and sovereign and he would judge righteously. Not good enough. Now I would say that it's a moot point. There is no one who "has never heard".

It's funny that I would come across this tonight, because I've thought twice about this guy this week, and I haven't thought about him in years. I was driving somewhere and just randomly I began to think and pray for him. I wonder what God has and is doing in his life.

I do know that this conversation turned me inside out. I spent the next year questioning everything, not because this guys arguments were very compelling, they weren't. But he challenged me to really think about what I believed and why. Thankfully I had a fabulous theology teacher and she never questioned my need to question. She just kept handing me rigorous materials, and she let me struggle.

Ultimately I came to believe in the God of my fathers', but it was my own. I'm struggling right now not with foundational doctrine but with the finer points. It makes me think that God has his hand on this foundational search and this deeper search, he is guiding me through a series of events to go deeper.

Do I trust his prompting? Do I trust that he will lead both my head and my heart? I would say yes. I would say that he is good. But even as I say that my thoughts hesitate, I'm stuttering in my spirit. The hesitation is two fold.

1) Will he really guide my theology? Is that realistic?
-lots of people ask for this and yet arrive at different conclusions
2) Will he really guide my heart?
-where has he been this last year and half?

And that's me being really honest. I trust him, but today it's because I know it's right.

God, you are true and righteous. Lead me in a way that is higher than myself. Help me find a sure path. Quiet my noisy heart with your love.

[end dear diary moment]

Conference Fun

Pirate Fun - David Scoggan

This picture, drawn in MS Paint, depicts the level of fun we are having at the conference this year. May I add that the talent I have on staff is inestimable. They never cease to amaze me.

The Winch Who Stole My Catholic Encyclopedias

This has been an odd and bizarre week. But finally someone has come and collected the most bizarre item we have received in bookstore history. I say this with confidence.

Here lies the story.

Yesterday we received like 30 boxes of books. The day before that we received roughly the same amount. We have been drowning in books. Really really drowning. Yesterday as Victor's bringing the last box he says with a curious look, "This box has a chain in it." Hmmm we look at him, but don't think much of it being as we are drowning in work.

A few hours later we are receiving catholic encyclopedias for a FSM order, when we open up box 2 of 2 we find, instead of catholic encyclopedias, this piece of equipment.



Hmmmm you say? Yeah I know. There were included in the box two large hydraulic shafts, two chains, and a steel hook. Early on in this discovery I declared this equipment to be a jackhammer. Upon further investigation, it is a hydraulic industrial winch. For several hours we all called it a wench, which is not the same thing, nor is it a hydraulic wrench or witch. It's a winch.

Even more interesting is that the packing slip for my encyclopedias is inside the box with the winch. Hmmmmmm.

The catholic publisher was just as confused as we were and so the winch became IHOP property and a cheery British man just carried it away.

Oddest thing we have ever received, and now that it's gone I kind of miss it. It would have made a nice bookstore pet.

Last Two Weeks in Review

Get back from Denver.

Clean the house.

Monday 17th
Step through bookstore door, simultaneously wished I had stayed home
Day explodes, get almost nothing done
Go Home and sleep

Tuesday 18thBetter day, not by much
Nearly die in heat

Wednesday 19th
Reading and studying Zechariah 14, blown away
Create pie graphs for marketing meeting

Thursday 20th
Spend all day battling with computer
Creatively name all files after Native American Tragedies
Luck with computers directly tied with names, bad idea
Miss meeting (initiated by myself) with other very busy department head
Nearly scalp myself

Friday 21st
Can't get my head out of Zechariah 14
Mathias gives in office history lesson on North Korea

Saturday 22nd
Throw party for Char and Jesse's Wedding
Leave party and see Lady in the Water (blah is how I feel about it)

Sunday 23rd
Bickle preaches out of Zechariah 14
Someone hands me $50
Unload parents moving "van" aka semi
Trick friends into helping
Fill my entire two car garage with their stuff
Many boxes labeled "Kristen's Books"
Other boxes labeled "71 Mustang Steering" "69 Mustang heater" "71 Mustang linkage"
Take my parents to Steak and Shake

Monday the 24th
Marketing Meeting, no one is excited by pie graphs
Saw Scanner Darkly, way better then Lady in the Water, but had some issues

Tuesday the 25th
Wake up with killer headache
Take Gummi Vitamins
Take Advil
Run a bunch or errands
Drank sweet tea
Met with busy department head, she's so cool
Began reading Ezekiel 38 and 39

The Grand and Infamous Jordan

Hey All. I'm in Denver this week at the International Christian Retailing Convention. Katie, Dale and I are here till Thursday. Katie and I are pictured with one of our favorite vendors, Jordan. Really great guy, him and the guys at IPG are winning some huge brownie points.

It should be said that most often people ignore us, we look like children of bookstore managers. Today we were told we didn't look old enough to be managing, and it's true, the IHOP youth movement has infiltrated all aspects of the mission base. We are quite the buying duo... out of control is probably more accurate. We've had quite a few people laughing so hard they had to stop what they were doing.

I'll just give you a few of the highlights.

-Dale going up to two random guys asking for directions. Turns out they were Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins. They let her know.

-Dale telling us the story and Katie asking, "Who are they?"

-Katie spilling bath salts all over Jordan's desk

-Katie reaching to get something out of her eye, and Jordan saying, "uugggg, looks like we have an eyeball toucher."

-Jordan then regaling us with a story about a marrage counseler who made her couples lick each other's eyeballs

- Me dramatically emphasizing how gross I thought that was (with wild hand movement)

- Katie (at my request) getting the Joel Osteen board game off the display and both of us making fun of it - one of the playing cards said "Choose to be happy."


- At one vendor we just grabbed all the books we liked from their displays and popped them down at the desk and said, "this is what we want."

-We've had pictures taken with circus performers, Indian chief, and a huge Goliath

- People have tried to sell us dolls, puppets, tracts, toys, barbies, scripture candy

So it's quite the event, I'm sure I'll have more stories later.

Road Trip America

Spent the weekend in Florida. Fabulous fun. Beach, sun, shopping, and a friend's wedding. Could it get any better?

I love the ocean, I love sinking my feet in and feeling the salty water wash over them. I love walking and clearing my mind with the sun beating down on me. One night we all went out to the beach late at night, and the ocean looked amazing, but even more amazing was the sky. It was perfectly clear and the sky stretched and fell into the sea. I could see every star and it was breath taking.

On the way back we took a different route, this route looked faster and also went by New Orleans, which I have always wanted to visit. So we took a brief break and had dinner in the French Quarter here.

It was an amazing city, really beautiful. And the food was awesome. I'll post some pictures later this week, I have to get all the film developed.

One good thing about being home: no sand in my sheets or bathtub.

Parents to the Rescue

Ahhhh... Life has been a total zoo as of late. Sorry I haven't blogged much, things have just gone from mildly busy to really busy, and spend most days just working my ways towards my bed. No complaints though, it's good.

At anyrate while doing a massive bookstore project which included the printing of thousands of labels we had printer drum drama. One label got stuck to the printer drum, and before you know it we were up a creek, as our particular drum is a "special order" item. Oh fun.

So off I went to office supply depots only to find every other drum, but mine, literally. I was about to tear out my hair, and then I remembered that somewhere deep in my genes was the ability to supply customers with inane requests almost instantly. I called my mom. She had a drum messenger-ed to me and I had it in one hour, for nearly the same price.

Here is a picture of our success.

12 years in the making

The news has been broken to all appropriate people so I can finally blog it! Last weekend my parents came down to Kansas City, and while they were here they found and bought a home. I swear it's an act of God for these two to decide on anything, much less a home and it finally happened. Here it is...




My mother has wanted to move here for like 12 years, and she was so jealous when I got to come before she did. She has ruby red slippers all over the house, she'll say longingly, "There's no place like home." Finally that will be true.

My mother loves the kitchen in this house, which is as nice as hers at home, which is a big deal. But pictured below is what has sold my Dad on the whole thing...



That's right, it has a rollbar. Never has a lawn mower been more ridiculous. But it comes with the house and the 3 1/2 acres and the pond and the hot tub. Sounds like a sweet deal for everyone.

Kansas City get ready, the rest of the Andersons (minus my stubborn little brother) are coming. This city might never be the same.

Breakfast Bonanza!

I am a creature of habit. Every morning I do exactly the same thing. I roll into the IHOP parking lot at 8:45. I park in the same row on the same side. I then head into the coffee shop and grab the same drink, tea au lait, vanilla almond, two tablespoons of honey, soy milk. There is rarely a deviation in this plan.

This morning however, the world turned itself upside down. First, I couldn't park where I normally would. The parking lot is being repaved. So I parked in Herrenhut and walked over to work.

So I'm in the coffee shop ordering my beverage, or rather nodding that I would like my usual. I'm just looking around, and I notice a sign announcing the arrival of a breakfast bagel. No joke. This morning I was the first to order and consume a Higher Grounds breakfast bagel. I had ham, cheese, and eggs! But there were so many options! The price is totally comparable to any fast food breakfast sandwich, but it wasn't greasy or heavy. In short, I feel invigorated after eating it.

Excellent work, Dennis and team. I applaud this new menu item!

Coming Out of Gray - I (heart) Augustine

I'm reading this book, "The Story of Christianity." It's big and I'm just reading the parts that interest me (the more I read, the more I find interesting). I've had some questions lately about the cannonization of the Bible and the council of Nicea. So I thought I should read some historical accounts just so that I could have a more accurate view of motivations and the "players" in these dramas.

So at any rate I'd just finished some great sections on Gnosticism and the Arian Controversy when I stumbled over a section on Augustine. I read it and enjoyed it thoroughly. He was a man well acquainted with his position before God. He understood the depth of his depravity, he knew his inadequacy. He lived as a man who knew forgiveness and the grace that is offered on the cross.

He says, "When I thought of devoting myself entirely to God...It was I that wished to do it, and I that wished not to do it. It was I. And since I neither completely wished nor completely refused, I fought against myself and tore myself to pieces."

This rings so true to me. It's something that I have been working on. Someone told me over a year ago that I was "gray". They told me I have a difficult time telling between right and wrong, they told me I saw a lot of gray areas in life.

I was a little miffed upon hearing this. I prided myself on being a good person, I always obeyed! But I found myself nodding in agreement at this observation. When push came to shove I often had difficulty in saying that there was a right and wrong. Generally not with large doctrines, but with small ones. There are a lot of reasons for this I think, primarily, I was taught to think rigorously and challenge ideas. I was told quite often to fight for the liberal position. I was often the devil's advocate, mostly because I had the ability to separate my beliefs from any position I had to argue. I spent a lot of time researching and defending positions I didn't really believe in. When the debate was over, often my teachers would ask, "Do you believe any of what you just said?" Most often I would just shrug and say, "Not a word." This is one of the things I love the most about my upbringing, but it has also left me with a lot of gray.

I lived (and continue to some extent) in a struggle, not fully wanting to embrace the "right" road. Something deep inside goes "but what about..." By doing this I found myself in conflict. I was tearing myself apart. In the last year I have made concerted efforts to flee the "gray" in my life. I have said "no" to a lot of things previously classified as "gray", in this process I have found a greater peace or calm. Mike would maybe call these "gray" things the little foxes. I'm trying to chase away the little things that steal my passion, zeal, and love. These little things can make my heart so dull. Obviously, I still struggle. But I feel more settled.

I've always liked Augustine. I mean his theology was crucial to the early church and that's great, but I like his words, his sorrow over his sin, over his life. I love that he asks questions, I love that he searched hard and he found God.

Back Office Antics

We got new hats in the bookstore to sell to the masses. We celebrated this new product with this portrait. You too can have your very own mission's base hat, just drop by your local Forerunner Bookstore.

Meditations on Cold Medicine

Right now I'm coming to you from the land of the ubber dopey. I'm having some allergy issues so I am on some drugs that make me a little loopey but have a profound affect on a cold. The following is what I am thinking about as I am drifting in and out of lucidity. Seat belts everyone.

1) There are a lot of complex problems in the world. I recently subscribed to The Economist. I thought my brain may be rotting from all the People which I was reading, so I thought I'd challenge myself to something better. It is very interesting, and it reminds me how delicate the world we live in is. We are held together by a thread. Jesus has quite the reform to start when he gets back.

2) Britney and K-fed should just stop. and so know you see I still read people. But this is appalling just appalling.

3) There will be a lot of people who said "Jesus, I love you." but really didn't know Him at all. Just watched Oprah sing gospel songs to Jesus and saw her praising God, but yet she is far from Him. I, too, must be careful, lest my heart grow cold.

4)You can train goldfish to play soccer. Wired magazine did a blip on this, but I was reading it on cold medicine so I'm not sure what the article was really about. This is yet another effort to stem the tide of deteriorating brain matter.

5) Alias is over. All hail an era.

6) Imogene Heap is play in Lawrence right now. Couldn't get tickets. Really bummed.

7) Seven is the number of perfection. Couldn't have just six things, that is the number of the beast.

That's it. I am about to slip off into a sweet but terribly confusing dream I am sure.

Night.

It is so green!

I've been taking a blog break. I've just been too crazy to try to formulate anything worth reading.

I just got back from six days of "camping" in parkville, MO. It wasn't really camping because there was running water. But that's the only kind of camping I can do. It was very green. That's what out of towners kept telling me; "It's so green."

I spent a lot of time describing IHOP. That was more fun then it sounds. It reinvigorated my heart in a surprising way. Something about sharing a vision, really reminded me of my own desires and passions which can get lost in the day to day.

It was a nice break, but it is good to be back and sleeping in a non-bunk bed (also nice... coffee shop, I was lost without my tea).